So Wednesday night Alex, Dave, Christine and I are sat in the Garden Room having yet another bottle of wine before we go down the pub again for our tea.


Fortunately the new cooker is still not working so Christine can’t cook anything yet. Joe and Amber are on the computer when suddenly the light disappears as a large black something or other arrives out front.


Now as you will know since retirement we have been a building site and we have had JCBs, builders lorries, ready mix cement lorries, skips and various sizes of vans and delivery vehicles but nothing compares to what has just arrived. I'm not saying it's big but had it been parked out there while we were having are building alterations done we could have moved in and lived in it. As it is it's bigger than either of our front rooms.


“Paul’s here” says Dave, which is a bit of a surprise as he (Paul Robinson, Dave's mate and England goalkeeper)) should be with the England squad. He’s playing against Portugal on Saturday but maybe with Sven’s laid back approach he’s given them the week off before the most important match in four years.

Just as an aside Owen Hargreaves had his best game for England as the holding midfielder against Sweden and was then promptly moved to full back against Ecuador. Following this team picking logic I fully expect Michael Carrick, man of the match against Ecuador to be dropped for the Portugal match. How much have we paid this guy to make these decisions? I could have made equally daft decisions for a lot less money! The fact that we are still there and in the quarter finals sort of suggests he knows what he is doing but we all know better. The sooner we get knocked out the sooner we can really have a go at him because we all know we could have won the World Cup if only we had someone else in charge. Of course if we do win the Cup we have to find other reasons to have a go at him. Probably women related reasons, what do these women see in this old, balding, not particularly good looking multi-millionaire.

But back to the story. It wasn’t Paul of course but Chris who had been over in Germany and was bringing one of Paul’s cars up north for him. Well the extensions we have added to the cottage seems to have caused some sort of interest in the village but when a very large black Hummer arrives outside it really begins to cause a stir.


Cars of course don’t impress me so I casually walk out trying to give the impression that it’s just my new run about being delivered so that Christine can keep the Clio. I am not sure I achieve my aim as I drool over the ‘cockpit’. Within minutes Joe is inside the car watching the TV, playing the Playstations or whatever they are and even Alex and Christine are outside looking. Amber, whose life is a social whirl out in The Bahamas and has been to many parties in Stretch Hummers, takes a look and says “I'ts a bit small, I prefer the long ones" ” and goes of to do girlie things.


Well within minutes Alex and Christine have joined Joe in the car and Amber is called. They are off down the pub, Chris is dropping them off. Dave and I are left behind to lock up and drive down in the Clio. "You wanted the Clio" says Christine as she looks down from the Hummer, I notice a slight gloat in her manner.


But we get the last laugh. We arrive at the pub park the Clio and go in and order a pint. Chris is still sat in the car park. No one will get out until some other cars arrive so they can be seen getting out the Hummer.