As I mentioned in my last article our flight back from Barcelona last week end was delayed due to a rainstorm but that was only part of the story, it was further delayed by Fred and Alice. That’s them with the combined age of well over a hundred and fifty and who happen to be sitting on the seats in front of Christine and myself.


We board the already late plane and we store away our bags in the overhead lockers and finally sit down, we are in a row of three with the outside seat empty. Well it is certainly empty of people but has a pink bag on it which isn’t mine or Christine’s. I ask around and no one seems to have lost a pink bag.


So here I am, sitting in a plane next to an unidentified bag. I know that Barcelona to Leeds is an unlikely place for a terrorist attack but in this day and age when we are constantly warned that unidentified bags will be removed I am a little concerned. It looks an innocent sort of pink bag, just canvass with handles but then again I don’t suppose a bag with a bomb in it says ‘beware bomb’ on the outside.


So I bring it to the attention of a stewardess who asks around if anyone has lost a pink bag but no one owns up to the bag. She then calls over the head stewardess to see if it can be moved. I am now thinking more about should Christine and I be moved, straight off the plane, I know we are already delayed but I don’t fancy sitting with this bag almost on my knee.


Does security need to be called, do we need listening devices to see if it ticks, do bombs actually tick or is that only on the TV programs, I have no idea. Can it be moved or will that make it unstable and cause an explosion, I’ve seen that happen on TV, haven’t I? I actually suggest, perhaps because I am sat next to this pink bag, that we evacuate the plane, I think I may have watched too many Bruce Willis films but it is a little concerning.


The stewardess then lets everyone know over the speaker system that a pink bag has been found at the back of the plane and can everyone ensure they have all their hand luggage with them. People get up and check the overhead lockers and no one on the plane has a missing bag. I am now more sure than ever that I don’t need this bag sitting next to me.


The stewardess repeats the message in case anyone missed it and now the entire plane is concerned about this pink bag, well everyone except Fred and Alice apparently.


After a lot of discussion and a close inspection no wires are located or ticking detected, it looks like a bag left from the last flight. It is decided that the bag can be moved and should be removed from the plane and left with the ground staff. To my relief when the pink bag is picked up nothing happens, no bang or flash or flames in fact not a bit like a Bruce Willis film, all that is heard is Fred saying “Eh, were you taking my bag”.


The stewardess, not to mention the rest of us is a little surprised and asks him to confirm it is his bag. “Of course it is” says Fred “I put it on the seat behind because I couldn’t open the overhead locker”.


Very politely, which is more than I could have been, the stewardess asks Fred if he hadn’t heard the request for the bag owner to come forward. “You said you’d found a pink bag, I haven’t got a pink one, that’s red” says Fred and puts the bag on his knee and continues reading his paper unaware that he has caused a further half hour delay.


But we get home eventually and people can be seen helping Fred and Alice and their RED bag up the stairs at the Arrivals Hall at Leeds. They are still unaware of the confusion they caused before take off. I did check and I’ll swear that they each still have their slippers on. Pensioners! What can you say?